“I need to go to AA!”

 

"I need to go to AA!"

This was the call for help from my friend Steve.  He had just gone through a major and messy breakup that got publicized at work.  The tension and embarrassment from that and his need to keep things underwraps - was breaking him.  As we chatted over coffee, he told me of his standoff with a vodka bottle to remain sober that had just happened the night before.  He kept saying, “I’m not that strong” and “I can’t do this on my own.” My response was, “you are stronger than you think, and you don’t have to go at it alone”  He then expressed, “I don’t even know how to receive help because I’ve been everyone’s confident.”

That actually got me thinking, many of us might know how to ask for help but receiving help - that’s a whole other ball game!

So if receiving help from someone feels awkward and burdensome, how can you get through this?

  1. “Two minds are better than one” - meaning usually if you allow another person to help you, the clarity you’ll receive maybe more than you bargained for.  In the case of my friend Steve, he didn’t feel strong enough to get himself to the meeting and asked for help. So I gave him just that - I took him to the meeting and waited for him to get out.  He walked out of the meeting with relief, the book of the 12 steps and a 24 hour coin. We laughed about blessing the coin and doing a ritual with it to honor his epic courage.

  2. Be open and allow yourself to be treated just as you would treat your own friends or child - many of you are just like Steve, find it easier to care for someone else than for yourself.  In order to receive, you need to think about how would you treat someone else going through this same problem and then allow that to happen for yourself.  Which leads to the third thing that you need to do in order to receive help…

  3. Realize you are freaking worth it!  Too often in this day in age we feel that we have to prove our worth to ourselves, family, friends or others.  Poppycock! There is nothing to prove. Quite honestly, we’re all worth receiving help - especially if we’ve asked for it!  Just being born makes you worth it.  There’s no quid pro quo that needs to happen - and if you do feel that, then you may have some social or karmic contracts that need some healing.
It really doesn’t matter as to why you need help but if you’ve asked for it, then allow it in so that you can really feel supported and cared for.  As a society we’ve really gotten away from being open, relatable and communicative - no thanks to cell phones and emojis. So if you find yourself guarding yourself from others to lend you a hand, think about how you don't have to do this thing called life alone.