The Powers of Self-Doubt and Self-Sabotage

These things go hand in hand a lot of times.  

I have been feeling so much self-doubt and because of it I feel that I’m sabotaging my own business.  To the point that this week I have an interview with Cabela’s Sporting Good store for a part time holiday job.  There isn’t anything wrong with that - and yet I felt a bit like a failure.

With all this self-doubt - confusion has crept in too.

Confusion on whether or not I’m doing what I am suppose to be doing - or am I meant to be doing something else.  And good gravy, if I’m suppose to be doing something else - where in the name of the great goddess to I begin?!?!

Here’s the thing - I’ve been telling all my clients that as they move forward into their next big dream of an adventure - don’t punch out when it starts to get rough.  

By punching out I meant, don’t run away from what may seem like is a big challenge and isn’t for you. Or that it has you scared to move back to where you felt comfortable.  This is a time for you to move cautiously and consciously through the things you have made a deeper commitment with. Just notice the challenges, differences or things that don’t feel good in these areas of your life.  May that be a new relationship, a new business service, or opening your heart more. Do not make any hasty decisions or take any sort of drastic action with these things related to Venus, love/money/relationships, until the fog has been lifted and she moves direct.

The same is true for me!

Because I was feeling self doubt/sabotage running rampant in my heart and mind as they related to relationships and money, I decided to commune more deeply with Venus through a shamanic journey for a deeper understanding and wise counsel from her.

What I head from Venus was that the self doubt, based out of fear, is no longer real.  It’s not longer my truth or way the stars are activated for me. My excessive spending to feel worthy, my overindulgence of food to feel nourished or even fear of being left behind - is no longer my truth.  

The things I’m seeing now that are showing up in my life are just reminders that I have  a new truth and I need to trust that.

Venus reminded me that because I’m leaning into these feelings by recalling them - I am aware of what is not true and what is changing, just be patient.  If I continue to let the inner conflict reign or the self sabotage invade - then I will have shifted back into that old self.

When she said that I was reminded of the dreamwork intention I made the other night.  Which was “how can Source help me to see the path before me so I feel free from self doubt.  What else do I need to be made aware of.” The following morning this is what came forward:

There is a need for connection - make sure it is to the right people

Realize your level of commitment - that your work is truly needed, right now

Trust in your consciousness - that everything you choose has power because it all matters and is matter

Lean into your creativity - to be able to mold and shape what to the needs of others is true servitude

and You have so much courage - with courage comes trust, belief, conviction and persistence and look how far you’ve come along on this journey

Even if this wasn’t a Venus in retrograde period - these 5C’s are still a great reminder to have more commitment to your passion and purpose.   

If you have to get a part time job, it doesn’t mean you’re moving backwards

If you have to get a loan, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t valuable to others

If you doubt yourself, it doesn’t mean you can regain your self-confidence once again

It’s just not true and you need to trust that, as do I.